In the month of July we were excited to see that after three years of trying to get pregnant, God had placed a tiny seed in my womb. Jesse, Chelsea and I were very happy and started to make plans and prepare for the arrival of our soon to be new addition to our little family. The baby grew inside of me for the next four 1/2 months... it was healthy and we were overjoyed to see what the sex of the baby was going to be on November 2, 2010.
As we went to the ultrasound office excitedly to see what it was... the screen showed a beautiful baby, but we could not find the heart beat.We were devastated! We cried our eyes out and held onto each other. I am still in shock of what has happened to us in the past 24 hours.
In order to stay healthy, I had to deliver my unborn child. It was the most difficult thing Jesse and I had to go through. We cried, sobbed and grieved! It was so strange to be at a birth center filled with mom's giving birth to their babies, and here we were doing the same, but without bringing the baby home.
I had the amazing support of the most loving nurses and doctors who understood what we were going through. After I gave birth to our little angel...I had some time to think and reflect on what to do next. A social worker named HOPE came and talked to me and counseled me for a few minutes to explain to me what I was going through. She wrapped the baby in a towel, and covered the baby with a beautiful green blanket and asked me If I wanted to hold her and say my goodbyes. Although, it was so difficult to do, I screamed, cried and held the baby very close to my heart. Then I found out that the baby was a little princess. I was heart broken!!I prayed to God to keep her safe until I could finally see her one day. Then gently I gave the baby back; as I quietly said goodbye!
Jesse and I will spread her ashes privately with our little family when we are ready in the next few weeks. We are going through a very hard time at this moment. We are very sad and painfully grieving! We have never experienced this much pain, but we have faith in God that he will heal our hearts and fill the void soon!
I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to have carried and shared these past months with our little angel. I was so excited to finally meet her in April. God had different plans.
I am so Blessed to have an amazing husband and beautiful daughter!! I thank the Lord each day for them! Life is so precious!!! It is here one day and gone the next. I hope that as you read this blog, that you embrace your children, appreciate your husband or wife... and cherish each minute that you have with them.
Isaiah 54:10"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:10"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
